Family dinner isn’t a new concept
Image by Upplandsmuseet
We spent the weekend at a cabin with my husband’s family. It’s readily understood that our small branch of the family tree are food weirdos, so we generally bring meals with us to alleviate the stress of trying to cook something that adheres to our restrictions.
One of our first tasks when eating with others is to find out the menu and prepare adequate substitutions so our children don’t feel out of place. Since breakfast is a big deal at the cabin, our 3-hour drive turned into 5 hours so we could stop at a farm and pick up pastured bacon and ground pork. Some of our substitutions included:
- Spaghetti and meatballs = spaghetti squash and meatballs (sans bread crumbs, sugar in the sauce, bell peppers)
- Sourdough pancakes and sausage = paleo pancakes (regular for us, pumpkin + eggs + cinnamon for Mimi) and pastured ground pork
- French toast and bacon = Paleo French toast (Paleo bread + eggs + coconut milk + coconut whipped cream) and pastured bacon
- Cake, cookies, and other desserts = Paleo Pumpkin Gingerbread Cake with Maple-Vanilla Frosting (yes and yes)
As we pulled into the canyon where the cabin is located, I got a text from my sister-in-law looking for gluten- and sugar-free treat suggestions. She removed gluten and sugar from her diet 5 days prior and was still getting used to it. I had no worries–we’re Paleo! We would have plenty for her to chow down on.
Except…
No food for my sister
Image by gifrancis
My SIL is allergic to eggs, a fact that completely evaded me until breakfast. Now that Mimi and I can tolerate eggs, I wasted no time including them in my favorite Paleofied foods since I no longer needed to exclude them. I watched her nibble on a piece of bacon and a few pickles with an overwhelming sense of compassion for my family members.
While I don’t think SIL was uncomfortable sitting at breakfast and enjoying the company, I wanted to feed her. I kept thinking, “If only I’d known! Ugh, even my cake has eggs in it! I have a million recipes I could have made. I wish she could enjoy this meal with us…”
I felt so helpless.
This has nothing to do with her, I recognize that. But I now also recognize the helplessness our families feel when they order pizza and we smile and say, “Don’t worry! I’ll just buy a gluten-free crust and make our own.” Or when they bring out birthday cake and I give my daughter a can of olives instead.
Sharing food is an important part of every culture and when we can’t do that together, we feel slighted. I apologize, Mom and Dad and friends everywhere, for not realizing what a huge role our diet transition played in your own lives.
The focus has always been on how hard it is for us that we never bothered to consider how hard it was for everyone else. Next post will feature reasons why we are not uncomfortable at family meals so perhaps your anxiety can be eased as well. UPDATE: Next post can be found here–> Food and Relationships: Seven Things I Wish My Family Knew